Working Out

Yesterday I started lifting weights. I'm pretty weak right now, so I couldn't lift very many weights at all. Basically I had two 5lbs weights and lifted those over and over again about 730 times in a row. I woke up this morning, walked into the bathroom, and looked in the mirror... horrified. I didn't have any arms. I'm not saying my arms were just really small and hanging there, but they weren't there at all. I ran back into my bedroom and looked in my bed... and holy canoli! My arms had fallen off in the middle of the night. I called 911 (or the Canadian version of 911... which is 119... everything is backwards in Canadia.) They rushed here as quick as they could and asked me what had happened. I told them. And they slapped their hands on their heads. "Idiot!" they yelled, "Never do 730 weight lifts in a row with 5lbs weights... it's a recipe for disaster!" "Oh" I said meekly, standing there in my bedroom with no arms and three EMS guys. They all stood there shaking their heads. "Well, aren't you going to do something?" I asked. "Yes.... Yes we are." and they picked up my arms and slapped them back on my body. The arms stuck. And now I'm completely back to normal, thank goodness.

In the end, this story was a completely fabrication.

Sincerely,
Frank U. McBoob