Never the Winner... Never the Loser...

I've got the great ability of never actually winning anything, but never losing anything either. You may be confused about what I'm saying. Here's an example, I play on a Canadian Football team (really strange, field is a different size and the cheerleaders are all fat and ugly). Anyway, my team has played 10 games. Our record? 0-0-10. We've tied 10 times. It's always like this. I played the lottery the other day and I got just enough numbers right to get another free ticket, but not any money. DIdn't win... Didn't lose. I just sat in my bobsled and stared at the ticket... then I held it up in the air and let out a blood-curdling scream at the top of my lungs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Sure, it wasn't manly screaming, but it got the point across.)

And what do you say about playing one-on-one with someone? Well, I played air hockey with a guy last night and even before either of us could score a point, we both hit the plastic puck and it exploded. End game.

This has been happening to me since I was a little kid. I was found a hundred dollar bill, but then I sneezed on it and got stuff on it from when you sneeze and I showed it to Mama McBoob... she took it away and said it was unsanitary. The next day, she had new earings.

Sincerely,
Frank U. McBoob